he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
