I puked a lego.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
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