How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
How external is "for external use only"?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
