that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
