Are we in a gay sports bar?
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
