i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I want her autograph on my taint
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
