I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
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