..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
