just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
