i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
