Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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