If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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