Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
