I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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