Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
