I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
this boner is exhausting
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
