it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Randomize
