we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Enjoy the penises
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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