it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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