I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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