"it" just moved
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
