I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Randomize
