I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
