so that wasnt chicken after all
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Randomize