My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Your cock deserves a montage
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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