Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
