Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Two words: blizzard sex
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
