you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼‍♀️
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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