the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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