Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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