my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
