Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
