ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
