Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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