Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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