She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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