That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Randomize
