I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
