I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize