Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
