I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
