He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Please, let me fuck your mom
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize