it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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