The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
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