Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
