i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Randomize
