is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
he told me I talked like a deaf person
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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