brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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