I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize