What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize