your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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