I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
