i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
