haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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