I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
