even my farts smell like vagina
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Randomize