I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Randomize
