Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
