my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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