everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You dont lie about slip and slides
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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