You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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