a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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