Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize