I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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